This is the book that started it all
I know it is cliché but, this book has changed my life and my thinking. This book made me realize that I have a voice and an opinion and both matter just as much as the next person. I realized that I can make decisions and not have to worry if my opinion is what other people may think or want. My opinion is exactly that...my opinion. It is okay to have an opinion that is different than someone else's. When I first read this book, I figure that I would not post my feelings about it because they were too personal. I very highly recommend this book, not just for people who live with an alcoholic, but for anyone who is trying desperately hard to fix a bad relationship, whether it's with your spouse, your parents, and your children. With anyone you love. It's pretty amazing for anyone who has struggled to figure out why they often care-take other people but feel guilty taking care of themselves. An eye-opening book that reveals many of the behaviors one adopts to handle living with someone with addiction problems, or as in my case, mental-health issues. I never realized the extent to which my relationship warped me, to some extent my fault for allowing it to happen, but the book also presented a lot of ways to come to an understanding of what it means to be a codependent and also ways to combat and correct behavior. This is one of the most life-changing books I've ever read. It has changed my life for good and I highly recommended this book to all readers.
A great place to start.
This book is a great place to start if you feel like you have an abusive relationship in your life and you don't know how to handle it. My wife was recommended this book because her relationship with her parents has turned her into a codependent, and it's done wonders in opening her eyes. We read the book together and it helped us to understand what feelings are "ok", how to handle unpleasant situations, and how to detach ourselves from the manipulation of others. Melody Beattie isn't a psychiatrist or a Ph.D., so she isn't as well versed in the technical jargon as a psychotherapist, but she has a great deal of life experience as both a councilor and a codependent. This allows her the unique ability to speak in down-to-earth, easy to understand language that lets her connect with her readers. The audio version was great, I really enjoyed listening to it. I gave this book 4 stars because it's not going to work for everyone. Melody Beattie is a big advocate of 12 step programs, but there are other ways to handle situations as well. So I don't think that you are going to find all the answers in this book, but it will definitely give you some good advice on how to handle abusive relationships, and most importantly it will help you start to realize that things can change, even for you. It has some similar ideas and themes to Brilliant Sanity: Buddhist Approaches to Psychotherapy and The 5 Laws That Determine All of Life's Outcomes
Codependent No More
The book is a very good read and is definatly worth a look.
Its a self help book and is very imformative on how to deal with the aspect of helping and living with a person with addiction. It also helps you see that you are just as important in the grand scheme of things as your partner,brother, sister etc....especially when you are the one dealing with all their problems...
lady reader
while this may be a hard read, due to digging deep internally, it is an excellent tool for learning about yourself and learning healthier ways to be in relations with those in your life
a lifesaver
This book and the follow-up books to this series were an amazing eye opener into destructive, counter-productive behaviors that shaped my choices in relationships.
What I love about this book are the countless real-life examples that resounded of patterns occurring in my own life. Reading these books combined with therapy have helped me to recognize why and how I've found myself in similar relationships at different times.
My wish is for others who are in this co-dependent role to find the courage to read these books. The revelations have been painful to say the least but I am a better woman for it, am able to recognize how my behaviors contribute to the dysfunction and assist me in making positive changes in my life.
(215 reviews)
