Pretending To Be Normal Does Stress You Out!!
I'm the one who is fed up with pretending to be normal like anyone else. I have been feeling distant and different from other people like she felt in her university days. I usually felt neglected, alienated, and discounted when interacting with other people. They superficially seemed nice to me, but actually they implicitly hated me. That was why I could trust nobody else. I often felt left behind like the author missed her college classes in a state of confusion in the crowd. After I was diagnosed with ADHD and Asperger syndrome(AS), I realized that I don't have to pretend to be a neuro-typical(NT) person any more! Even though I come to know my AS traits now, it has been very tough to maintain stable relationships with other people, which causes frequent job changes. Especially, unwritten rules and sudden changes get on my nerves! NT people have taken them for granted, though.
Recently I have come to recognize I could find someone to go to bat for; job hunting agency staff who deal with challenged people have trying so hard to understand the specifics of developmental impairments. To my great surprise, they know the ropes more than typical hard-headed psychiatrists! Thanks to them, I can be more objective and understand both the pros and cons of AS and ADHD more than before I met them.
Like Liane Holliday Willy said, people with AS can be normal with more understanding people, I'd say. Then they won't have to suppress their feelings and stress themselves out!
This book gave me hope
I really enjoyed Liane's story - it gave me hope that my Aspie daughter (and son) will grow up to have fulfilling lives.
Flip flops a lot, but still a good read
Liane Holliday Wiley's Pretending to be Normal: Living With Asperger's Syndrome is a very insightful look into the condition, from someone who has it herself. Wiley provides entertaining, and at times heartbreaking, anecdotes of her life, as she grew up not knowing she had Asperger's, but knowing she was different in some way. The advantage of reading a book like this is that it is written by someone who has the condition, albeit undiagnosed, so it provides better insight on the condition than a parent or professional, who doesn't have the condition himself or herself. On the other hand, as another poster has stated, Wiley seems to go back and forth between accepting her Asperger's as the way she is, and saying she's better now that "her Asperger's traits continue to fade away", yet admittedly, that is how many "Aspies" feel. Bottom line: I would recommend this book, but keep in mind that it's not perfect. Especially useful for Aspies or friends and loved ones of Aspies, and anyone who wants to learn more about Asperger's Syndrome.
A Must Read
Pretending to Be Normal: Living With Asperger's Syndrome
This book is must read for anyone dealing with Asperger's children, teens and young adults. L. Wiley's insights into her own responses and feelings enables a better understanding of the behaviors we see, and also insight into some of our goals, that may not be shared by those with whom we are working.
A good first hand account of living with autism
I have now read several books by adults with autism or aspergers. This is a good book to read if you want a better understanding of the autism spectrum and how it plays out in children who otherwise appear "normal". The author describes very well what life was like for her in high school and college. She also writes about her marriage and some of the challenges in that. I believe that this is the first book I have read that goes into that type of depth of close relationships. At the end of the book she has chapters such as organizing your home life, employment options and survival skills for college students. I will probably read those chapters again and in more depth when my son is older. I think that many of the suggestions would be helpful to someone on the AS.
(73 reviews)
